NEEDED: Sniper for co-op project

After incurring approximately $300.58 in expired parking meter fines, and having the lady run after me as I got into my car. I sped off, dust in the wind. I considered hiring a sniper with an AK47 and positioned outside my window to take her out, because if not I will CLIP her with my car.

RECALL: Tracker

As I drove down Broad Street today a car is stopped on a hill apparently due to the other car, I blow my horn profusely as the car finally moves into the other lane. I am then confronted with a 1995 Tracker bucking like a horse nearly clipping my vehicle in the process. Figures, it was a car full of ASIANS.

and also

will someone drive into center city and plow down the homeless man on the corner of second and arch? He asked me for change and I told him to CHANGE begging grounds. I'm sick of being hasseled by this loser when I go to enjoy my only diet cola bev. of the day and he hounds me for money. ARGH!!!!!

because i have two outstanding bad checks and eight dollars in my account

Dear Fat Black Man on Market-Frankfurt Line:

You, being a pants size, say 70, can not stand CASUALLY by the car door, scratch that, you cannot stand casually anywhere. Let me ask you a question, when you were engulfing your extra crispy box of church's chicken at 9am, followed by 20 yoo-hoos, did you think to your socially unacceptable self, that maybe you should be WALKING instead of using our rapid transit system? That brings up another question. RAPID? Where do you have to go in a hurry? Dunkin Doughnuts is open 24hours a day - and we all know you don't have a job. END NOTE - MOVE YOUR FAT ASS TO THE BACK OF THE CAR, ROSA.

OVERHEARD IN Georgia

A conversation overhead... somewhere in Georgia.

Person A: Why are there black people here? Since when do they study?
Person B: Oh my god, they must be planning petty thefts. Watch your belongings!
Person A: I feel like we are on minority row over here.
Person B: Its because they all live in the projects and the gun shots are not conducive to studying
Person A: God, now here comes the indians
Person B: Immigrants. Is the library being used as the new ellis island?
Person A: This whole place smells like fried chicken, wonton soup, and pooja
Person B: Are the trash cans over flowing with empty KFC buckets?
Person A: No, there is however a stack of DOMINOS BOXES

People are disgusting.

MEMO

Attention all... Apparently Old Navy DID NOT get our memo. That's right they are now selling racks of overalls... oh yea and a JEAN dress from 1990! Get excited farmer fashionistas!

Attention all Potential Boyfriends...

Applications for my boyfriend are now online Click Here

Greetings

Mon ami and I decided to create this blog to share our general disgust of people with the world, as well as provide you with our ingenious quotes, quips, and anecdotes that we come up with on a daily basis. We hope you find our lives, and the people who pollute them as humorous as we do. Stay tuned.