Rat-poison congee racks hospital

Blasphemy! I told them arsenic! Breakfast laced with rat poision - breakfast of champions!

Addicts come in all shapes, sizes, & colors, but so do panties...

A man was arrested today after police uncovered 1500 pairs of women's panties he had stolen from his apartment complexes' washroom. When questioned further he responded, "I think I have a problem." Send this addict to QUITMAN, MS stat!

Smuggling CROCS, what THE...

Nooo, not those crocs! (If the incident had been in Asia I'm sure they'd stuff their girdle with counterfeit Crocs and sell fo five dolla!) These crocs.... That's right folks, a woman entering Gaza was stopped in the airport and searched because of her "odd shape." The police removed her GIRDLE to find 3 BABY CROCODILES she was trying to smuggle into the city to sell. Oh yea, and when the crocodiles fell from her girdle they created a hoop-lah in the rest of the airport, every fleed the building, ran screaming bloody murder. Lady with crocodile say "she not know they in girdle." Sound the alarm, that sounds like an ______________! Better luck next time lady, maybe stick with what your people know how to smuggle: opium.
For the full story, Click here.

INSANEjaya

Ahh! Indians are taking AMERICAN idol by storm! And with this HOT new do

Tribute to Thin Burgers (by the greatest band ever)

That parentheses comment is an obvious joke.

Can't view the video click: These Burgers

Espression

Use your best black person/ebonics impression when you read it to yourself

Today my baby girl 18th birthday .......I be so glad that this be my last child support pay ment! Month atter month, year after year, all dose pay ments!
So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house, and when she get there, I say, "Baby girl, I want you to take this check over to yo momma house and tell her this be the last check she ever be getting' from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the  espression that's on yo mama's face."
So my baby girl she take the check over to her. Uhh -  I be so anxious to hear what she be gonna say and what she look like. Baby girl walk through the door, I say, "Now what yo momma say 'bout that?"
She say tell you that "you aint my daddy ........... and watch the espression on yo face....."

Out of Africa

I once read a book about the origins of Ebola in the Congo and what the US would be like if the Ebola Virus at the CDC headquarters in Atlanta would somehow break loose into society. Never in my wildest dreams did I think apes, chimpanzees, or any primate for that matter, could act any more biserck than one inflicted with the Ebola virus… until now. On Saturday morning at approximately 5 am I was attacked by a chimpanzee. A very clever one that chimp was, for I was suddenly faced with the nightmare of being tossed, nearly smothered, and then hit on the head with a 5’ x 3’ dry erase board. Seems I have a evolved a little bit past the chimp, for miraculously I escaped the building unharmed. Only a few minor flesh wounds. After escaping an angry crowd of pygmies who attacked our covered wagon in the Congo at the age of 5, I found it hard to believe that 17 years later I would find myself confronted by the same moley creatures.

Poor Indians

The Asian Squat - A How To Guide

don't bother

when i see really really obease people at the gym... i wonder, why bother. when you're that big the only solution is gastric bypass, death by bus, or being forced to do manual labor... im not going to get into my theory on over weight people

thanks.

How do you kill a redneck?

Fill his generic coffee with arsenic.

asian tourists

Heed my advice. Whenever you see asian tourists, put on sunglasses.

As I walked back from getting lunch this afternoon, I encountered a large group of asian tourists, fresh from the Hong, scuttling about the front of Betsy Ross' house. They seemed to forming a group of some sorts, so I continued to hurridly walk by. Suddenly I hear picha picha and BOOM. All their cameras went off at once causing a shotgun of reverberating light up and down the road. I fell blinded to the ground cluching my bag as my soup went rolling into the roadway.

Please think of the "grizwald christmas" movie when they turn on the lights and the neighbors can't see. That was me this afternoon on second street.