My Office

I realized this morning that my office was filled with a bunch of degenerates. Except for a few, they really are losers. While i'm over here in my wonderful cubicle, my 400 pound office worker stands against the wall chit chatting and explaining to my other loser co-workers that she is going to procrastinate for several hours. Speaking of her in particular... last week on casual friday, she comes up to me and says "you know you can wear jeans on friday?" ... I was wearing khakis and a polo. I felt like saying to her, "you know you can wear a tent on friday", "coleman has it's new line out, i saw it at the hunting store". She is so obnoxious - one of those people you really just want to pummel in the face with a frying pan or hit in the teeth with a bag of snow melting salt and then grind it into her eyes.

In other news, I'm thinking about giving church a try.

Bravo on the videos my compatriate. Muah.

don't bother

when i see really really obease people at the gym... i wonder, why bother. when you're that big the only solution is gastric bypass, death by bus, or being forced to do manual labor... im not going to get into my theory on over weight people

thanks.

rendezvous a starbucks

this morning per usual i stopped by one of the many starbucks locations between here and the train station. per usual i walk into perfect yuppidom and commence upon ordering a heavenly beverage. unfortunately, something OUT of the usual caused me to stop dead in my tracks. now employed, at my favorite coffee joint, was a 900 pound man, fresh from the circus. BEWILDERED and AWESTRUCK I stumbled to get out the words, non fat suger free no whip cinnamon dolce venti. Then it happened. The fat man spoke. Who taught fat people how to speak anyway?

Large - "That sure does defeat the purpose of havin yourself a coffee doesn't it?"

Me - "Excuse me?"

Large - "You took out all the good parts."

Me - "Aparantly, something you've never considered."

Large - "No need to be nasty"

Me - "Advice you should have heeded this morning before venturing into the world."

After recieving my coffee i fled, now i will be going to the starbucks one block away. this company needs to get it together.